Don`t Panic

Relationship confessions

2008-03-17T18:23:00.000-07:00

I now own a electrical waterboiler.
I now own a gravy whisk.
I own a bowl for sugar.
I need to get a trashcan for my bathroom.
Theres now an extra toothbrush in my toothbrush-cup.
My girlfriends name no longer ends in .jpg
There are colored candlestands in my apartment.
There is a lamp shaped as a butterfly in my apartment.
There is that special cheese I really dont like in my kitchen.
I clean up once in a while.
I feel a lot better when it comes to everything.
There is something beautiful sleeping beside me every night.

10 things I feel I should do something about

2008-03-03T17:49:00.000-08:00

1. Clean the kitchen while I cook, so I don`t forget to do it.
2. Stop saying I`m sorry for everything I do.
3. Finally really move in to my apartment, been living in boxes for 3 months.
4. Try to not fuck up my relationship.
5. Get back on my fruitdiet (its been one lazy week)
6. Get some better sleeproutines.
7. Do all the left-over-work I know I should have done a long time ago.
8. Try to push my obsessive nostalgia over to melancholy for my own good.
9. Finish my novel
10. Not freak out at the fact that she gave me keys for her apartment.

Happy Place Corruption

2008-02-19T06:42:00.000-08:00

I smile, I take it, I accept and crawl, laugh it away and tell him I understand.
I release my inner chi, open my third eye, feel the relaxation, go to my happy place.
While all the while I just feel like ripping his fucking head of, piss down his throat
and shove his fucking head up his fucking ass.
Fuck you! I fucking hate you!

But I accept it, I smile, I laught it away and I tell him I understand.
I release my inner chi, open my thrid eye, feel the relaxation and go to my happy place.

I hate arrogant people when I`m working.

My cold beer vs war-hypothesis

2008-02-12T06:31:00.000-08:00

Imagine the whole world wakes up.
All weapons refuse to work, and the worlds collective moneyaccount of mass weapon production has totally annihilated starvation and poverty for all time to come.
The beer producers of the world agree to send out one weeks production line for the entire world. People have a cold one and discuss what really matters.
"Whats cheers in Iraqui"?
"You have to walk 30 miles each day to get water? Hey! heres my car, you can have it, I have two"
"So you believe in one god, this guy believes in another god, cheers mate, gods are great!"
"You`re black, im white, that guy over there is yellowish, im glad the world has contrast!"

Fucking behave, people! It`s not that fucking difficult!

Cheers!

Confession

2008-02-07T16:28:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I feel like I`m a tamagotchi
Pet me, feed me, love me.
And I`m ok.

Counter-girl

2008-01-28T12:50:00.000-08:00

Counter-girl is cute.
We both smile, laugh at bad jokes and I pay and get my coffee and lunch.
Then she asks me.
"Would you like to take me out on a date?"
I am perplexed.
I would never dare ask her, so that she does, completely sets me out.
She looks at me, she can sense I am scared. She can smell. Her female "scaredy boy"-senses are tingling.
"Or just, lets call it a coffee at a café-shop, doesn`t sound that scary does it"? , she smiles at me and laughs.
Counter-girl countered me.
"I would gladly have a coffee at you in the middle of Kenya, a coffeehouse in China or 4-days-old coffee at the top of machu picchu", I say.
She looks at me, puzzled.
"Since, here, this place, is rather meaningless, none of us really live here, we don`t exist here, we are just bound here by physical bodies you know?", I continue.
She smiles, she knows exactly what I am talking about.
"In Kenya it is then", she flirts back.
"Thanks for the coffee, counter-girl" I say, politely and smile. I might have given her a small wink as well.
"Sofia", she says. And smiles.
"See you later, Sofia" I say.

God damn I need help handling these situations better....

Nevereverwhateverland

2008-01-26T18:19:00.000-08:00

I chased the damn rabbit. Again.
I should just shoot it, once and for all, get rid of the fracking thing.
Put it out of its misery.
So again I lie here, bang my heels together repeatedly.
But it does not go away.
It never goes away.
I should have taken the blue pill.
I see problems through the looking glass.
Humpty dumpty omelets.
The castles smell like burnt hair
She awoke before she was supposed to.
And I can`t even find my fracking horse.

Don`t mind the metaphores.

Bad connection

2008-01-24T12:58:00.001-08:00

I might be shitting directly at the fan of the world by saying this, with poverty, starvation, death, war and so on raging in the world, but what the hey.

Having a bad internet connection in 2008 is like living in the fracking stoneage.
I might as well run outside and hunt down a mamut, in the nude, and try to fit the whole damn thing in my single-freezer.

I need to call the ISP and ask for something that actually works, this is fucking horrible.

Spoiled brat, David, out.

8 things that make me feel slightly uncomfortable

2007-09-21T06:28:00.000-07:00

1.Not paying my rent in time
2.Standing in extremely crowded areas (though strangely not a problem om vacation)
3.People that drive too close behind my car
4.Paying with cash rather than card (I really dont like cash)
5.Weddings
6.Funerals
7.Carousels that go around and around and around...
8.Public restrooms

Things to do before I die #2

2007-09-19T07:57:00.000-07:00

1.Eat so much garlic I am asked to leave a public place.
2.Swim with dolphins
3.Touch an alligator or crocodile
4.Ride an elephant
5.Photograph a wild lion
6.Visit Toronto
7.Eat something I normally would not dare in China
8.Not celebrate christmas
9.Spend a week or longer on deserted island
10.Hunt, kill and eat something other than fish
11.Get a kitten
12.Spend some nights as a homeless person
13.Photograph a "jumping" great white shark
14.Say my blessings to Anubis in Giza
15.Being someones "best man" at a wedding and writing a funny speach

Things I am looking forward too

2007-09-06T07:01:00.001-07:00

Anger away:)
Worked with someone yesterday that kind of reminded me why I get fascinated by people and the world. That people like that still exist, made me laugh and smile all day as I was working.
I woke up today with a smile on my face, and inspiration in my tummy, and wanted to write down some of the things I am looking forward to doing in the near future.

1.Going to Tokyo
2.Salmon-fishing trip with my brother
3.My next photoexhibition
4.Last payment on my loan
5.Autumn in general
6.D&D 4th edition release
7.Visiting my friend in China
8.Rome or Milan (Not sure what it comes to yet)
9.Getting my next tattoo done
10.Getting the "Yakuza Moon" book, in the mail (cant wait to read it!)

Happy birthday to me

2007-09-04T06:09:00.000-07:00

It is in these hours. On my own birthday.
That I realized (I have realized it before) but not in such a strong way.
How fucked this world really is.
I mean, how incredibly to hell it`s really going.

One can say that one is unaffected, that one laughs at it, does not care
or simply doesn`t give a shit
But it doesn`t really stock the cards to do so. Nihilism doesn`t work, simple as that. You have to fucking care, because you are right here, feeling it, living it. (Oh yeah, argue with me you presumptious motherfuckers!). I don`t care how fucking unaffected you feel. Some day this world is gonna kick you in your nihilistic, navel-viewing, egosentric nuts and you are gonna fucking feel it.
And if that does not work I`m gonna fucking kick you myself.
Lets hope then that your proudness holds ground.

And before arguing with me, stop and think. Reflect. Don`t just use your selftaught instincts and answer before searching yourself the least. Fucking do what makes us superior and resonate. Learn. Kick your pride away for just one day and stay naked in front of the shitstorm. It won`t hurt you, it will make you fucking stronger!

I promise little funny-man-mister-know-little-D will be back. So do not be afraid if I scared you. I won`t dethrone you. Your are still king and queen in your empires of crap.

Wake up and feel the smell of midsummer rain you wankers!

10 things I`m afraid of

2007-09-03T06:35:00.000-07:00

10 things I honestly admit I am afraid of.

1.Snakes (not those fat lazy ones, but those small fast ones)
2.Eating stuff that is still alive
3.Clowns
4.Relationship commitment
5.Not having turned off my stove so my whole apartment burns down
6.Not being objective to my own work
7.Giving friends advice that turns out to be bad
8.Getting stuck in life
9.Dissapoint people that are close to me
10.Swimming at very deep waters

Things to do before I die

2007-09-01T03:41:00.000-07:00

This list will be continous and in no specific order.

1.Howl with wolfes
2.See the pyramids
3.See the forbidden city and the rest of China
4.See Tokyo and the rest of Japan
5.See Tschernobyl
6.Eat food in Italia
7.See Taj Mahal
8.Get a pike over 10 kg
9.See the catacombs in Paris
10.Buy a new car
11.Pay someone bothersome to go away because im eating
12.See a platypuss in the wild
13.Try that sushifish that is deadly if cooked wrong
14.Build something usefull out of wood
15.Invest in a very bad movie

The list will go on...

Confessions

2007-08-30T14:22:00.000-07:00

I often do nothing when I should do everything.
I often do everything when I should do nothing.
I do put empty stuff back in the refrigerator (dunno...its a guy thing)
I do leave the toiletseat open
I do tip more if the waiter is cute
I do say hello to whoever cashier I meet (I hate people that`s always grumpy towards them)
I have only tried one of the baguett-types on SubWay and I intend to keep it that way, I am happy with my club.
When in my weak moments I find myself in a McDonalds, I have only tried the bigmac.
I do not like pineapple on pizza (whoever started that should be shot)
I do not eat white meated fish
I do like very bad movies
I do not like world war 2 movies (get over it!)
I do not like chips with sourcream and onion taste (bleh!)
I enjoy cooking
I have a very good friend that lives far away
I have another very good friend that lives even further away
I am tired now and have to get some food before bed

Note to self #1

2007-08-29T11:42:00.000-07:00

1.Put stuff in the dishwasher, not on the bench over it.
2.Put down your camera at least once a day.
3.Just because you put your clothes in the washing machine does not turn it on.
4.Could loose some weight couldn`t we?
5.Tony Soprano is not everyones opinion of a "man".
6.Get a haircut more often than once a year.
7.Stop biting you fingernails.
8.Do not cross your arms when talking to girls, it looks rejecting.
9.Buy more shoes, those newrock boots are NOT shoes
10.Do not eat so much that you lie on the floor feeling sorry for yourself.
11.Stop talking to yourself so much.
12.She is most likely not interested in your DVD-collection (Especially not the Sci-fi and horror section)
13.You do not have to eat everything just because it`s there.
14.Stop quoting movies when watching them with someone else.
15.Stop apologizing everything.
16.Not everyone knows what "Nine Inch Nails" is.
17.Unless she asks or mentions it, do not mention your fantasy book-collection.
18.Stop pissing of anarchists, you are going to get yourself hurt
19.Try straiting out your feet a bit more when you walk so you walk less like a penguin.
20.Stop eating the icecubes when your out of soda.
21.Girls are often embarrased when you ask the waiter what he would suggest eating, so stop it.
22.Refills are not mandatory.
23.Do not eat on the white couch.
24.Your simpsons impression suck.
25.Just try saying hello.

Talkshows

2007-08-28T04:29:00.000-07:00

Rachel Ray has to be the perfect woman.
She does all the talking.
Earns shitloads of money.
Is kinda hot.
And cooks for you.
She even had a leftover-special.
I rest my case

The inevitable testing-post

2007-08-28T03:59:00.000-07:00

Is this up and working?